


It's always winter, but never Christmas...

by akhikaru



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Avalanches, Christmas, Community: rainbowfilling, First Meetings, Getting to Know Each Other, M/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2019-05-21 12:48:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14915670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akhikaru/pseuds/akhikaru
Summary: Ohno's life is an eternal winter, but Christmas is just around the corner... or maybe in the seat across his.





	It's always winter, but never Christmas...

**Author's Note:**

> For the rainbowfilling prompt "Snow-trapped, mountain-top rescue". Sorry for killing Aiba. Title was taken from a song I like.

_"Wake up! They've come for us!" Ohno shook Masaki's shoulders. Tears started blurring his vision when Aiba didn't move. "Masaki? No, no…"_

_A strong pair of arms pulled him from behind. "Ohno-san, you have to come now!"_

_"No, no, no! Masaki! Masaki! You don't understand, he's still in there! Masaki!" Ohno continued screaming. He was dragged outside the cabin he shared during the last few days with Aiba Masaki, his first love._

 

Ohno wandered in the snowy street, his gaze fixed on the pavement. Around him, everyone was in high spirits, surely waiting for Christmas to come again. He didn't care about it. He hated everything about winter, not to mention that foreign holiday everyone kept insisting on bringing to Japan. In winter, he wasn't able to go fishing because of the ice. In winter, he couldn't spend as much time as he wanted painting outside because it'd suddenly start snowing and he'd have to go home. In winter, he had to wear stupid bulky coats and scarves. Every year after his birthday passed, he'd get in super-cranky mode. Some people had started to call him the Grinch, especially that Ninomiya guy who started working at the gallery last year and thought he was so clever because he called everyone stupid names.

Ohno entered his favorite restaurant a small Chinese restaurant ran by a nice man called Matsumoto Jun and his wife Chie, Masaki's sister. It was masochistic of him to come here every day, as Chie often pointed out, considering how much this place reminded him of Masaki. It was painful, he didn't deny it, but it was more painful to not go there. Every time he crossed the door, he could see Masaki in his mind, smiling at him like he always did, shining like the sun that refused to rise in his ever-cloudy life since ten years ago.

 

_"Ohno-kun! You came! Take a seat here, please! I'll be right back!" Masaki greeted him with a wide grin and rushed back into the kitchen excitedly._

_Ohno couldn't help laughing a bit. Masaki had been talking about this day during the whole week. Masaki's family finally reopened Masaki's grandfather's restaurant. Although Masaki wasn't especially skilled at cooking, he was the most enthusiastic about the idea. Apparently, he was also the one who found the grandfather's recipes one day when he accidentally broke a vase. When everything was ready, Masaki brought flyers to school and invited everyone, even the principal, to attend the 'grand opening' of the restaurant. Maybe grand was an exaggerated word, taking into account the actual size of the place, but it did get some students' attention, or so Ohno could deduce from the number of people wearing the same uniform as him._

_"Here! I cooked this myself!" Masaki announced proudly as he put a steaming bowl in front of Ohno._

_"What is it?"_

_"Mapo tofu!" Masaki's grin got wider and brighter, although there was some nostalgia in his eyes. "It's my favorite dish on the menu. Ojiichan always made it for me when I visited him. Go ahead!"_

_Ohno thanked him for the food and proceeded to start his meal. "It's good!"_

_"Really!?"_

_"Yes! It's really good!" Ohno smiled at him._

_Masaki sighed with a smile on his lips. "That's a relief! I was afraid I couldn't make justice to ojiichan's mapo tofu."_

_"I think he would be proud of you," Ohno muttered and stuffed his mouth with more mapo tofu._

_"Thanks, Ohno-kun."_

 

"Satoshi-niisan!" Chie greeted him. For a split second Ohno could have sworn he saw Masaki; his sister resembled him so much. "Do you want the usual?"

Ohno just nodded and took a seat on his table, the one at the farthest corner of the restaurant. A few minutes later Jun came with a steaming bowl of mapo tofu for him.

"Mapo tofu, there you go." Jun smiled at him.

"Thanks."

"So, how have you been oniisan?" Jun took a seat in front of Ohno. Both Jun and Chie called him oniisan, even if he and Masaki never dated officially. "You seem a bit down lately."

"Ah, it's just the winter. You know I hate it," Ohno replied.

Jun looked at him with sad eyes. "I wish there was something we could do about it."

Ohno stared back at Jun. He knew that Jun wasn't talking about the winter. It was about Masaki, about moving on and continuing with his life. Ohno knew this wasn't healthy for him, but what else could he do? Forgetting Masaki? He refused to let him go.

Ohno sighed. "Me too, Jun."

Then, a person came into the restaurant. The man was wearing a long black coat and a red scarf. Ohno's attention went immediately to this very much intriguing and attractive stranger. Jun noticed it and decided to do something.

"I'm sorry, sir, we don't have any vacant tables at the moment," Chie apologized to the man in question.

"Ah, really?" The man's voice revealed a hint of disappointment.

"If you want, you can sit over here," Jun said and motioned the man to come and sit with Ohno.

"Ah, no… It's okay, I don't want to disturb—"

"You're not disturbing anyone, sir, I can assure you," Jun added with a smile.

"Then… I'll take a seat. Thanks." The man noticed Ohno's slightly annoyed expression and flashed him an apologetic smile. "I hope you don't mind. I can wait until someone leaves if it's a problem."

"I don't mind," was Ohno's reply. After that, he averted his eyes from the stranger and continued eating his food in silence.

"Is that mapo tofu?" the man asked him. Ohno dropped the chopsticks on the plate and looked at him with an annoyed expression. "S-Sorry! It's just… It l-looks really good."

"It's the best dish here," Ohno commented with an indifferent tone.

"Really? Then I think I'll have the same!" the man said with a smile. It wasn't like Masaki's smile. Masaki's was brighter, sweeter. However, Ohno felt his heart beating faster when he saw it.

"Hmm…" Ohno just nodded.

The stranger ordered mapo tofu and ate it with such a gleeful face, as though he'd discovered the eighth wonder of the world. He praised the chef's cooking over and over again, took photos of the food and promised he'd come back the next day. Ohno didn't exchange any other word with him.

"That's a nice guy," Chie commented. "He seems very friendly, and he's very good-looking too. What's his name?"

Ohno shrugged. "How would I know?"

"Eh? You didn't ask him?"

"What for?" Ohno furrowed his brows. "It's not like I care."

"You're unbelievable!" Chie grumbled.

"I'll take my leave now. See you tomorrow." Ohno waved good-bye and left the restaurant.

"At this rate, he'll keep mourning my brother's death until he dies! If a guy like that couldn't make him at least a bit interested, then it's over!" Chie whined.

"Don't be such a pessimist, my love!" Jun hugged his wife from behind. "He'll move on someday."

"I wish…" Chie sighed.

 

_"Are you sure about this, Masaki?"_

_It was the winter break of their first year at the university. Masaki and Ohno were roommates, and although their majors were different, they always found the way to spend time together._

_"Yeah, come! It's safe Oh-chan, don't worry!" Masaki grinned as always. "I'll take your hand. See? Now you won't fall!"_

_"Okay…"_

_They started skating in the frozen lake. At first, Ohno was very nervous, but when Masaki was holding his hand like this he felt that everything would be okay, no matter what happened._

_"You're doing it great! Now I can let go—"_

_"No!" Ohno yelled. Masaki looked at him with a confused expression. Ohno's face turned red. "I… I'm afraid I'll fall if you…"_

_"We can go on like this if you want, Oh-chan."_

_They continued skating during the rest of the afternoon, with their fingers intertwined and happy faces._

 

Ohno took a last look at the lake. It was just like the first time Masaki brought him there. He gave the last touches to his painting until he was satisfied with the result. It was almost lunchtime, so he took his implements and headed to the restaurant.

"Oniisan!" Jun greeted him with a wide smile. "That's a great painting!"

Ohno bowed at him and went to his table. In the table right next to his was sitting the same beautiful stranger from the other day. This time, he was wearing a gray suit, a black tie, white shirt and a big maroon coat over all that. He had been coming back to the restaurant every day during the last two weeks.

The man's face suddenly lit up. "Oh, it's you again! How are you doing today?"

"Fine," Ohno answered coldly. Jun came shortly after, bringing the mapo tofu with him.

"Do you always eat mapo tofu?" the man asked. "I've been watching you the last couple of weeks, and you always order the same thing."

"Do you always stalk random people at restaurants?"

"S-sorry! I didn't mean to…"

"Then shut up and let me eat in peace, will you? You're so annoying!"

The man's face darkened. He apologized for being a nuisance and didn't open his mouth again during the time he was in the restaurant. He went away with a gloomy expression. Ohno felt bad for snapping at him, but it was the man's fault. He hated to be disturbed by strangers.

The next day, the man showed up again. He sat at the other end of the restaurant in an obvious attempt to stay out of Ohno's way. Ohno appreciated it, but what he didn't appreciate that much was meeting the man's piercing gaze every time he lifted his eyes from the plate. He couldn't take it anymore, so he went straight to the man's table.

"What's wrong with you!?" Ohno yelled at him. "Stop looking at me, for God's sake! You're so creepy!"

This time the man lowered his head. Ohno could notice he was biting his bottom lip as if he was trying to hold back his words. "I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention to make you uncomfortable," he said and stood up. He left some bills on the table and stormed off the restaurant. Ohno clicked his tongue and decided to follow him.

"Wait!" Ohno grabbed the man's arm. "Sorry, I was rude to you."

The man freed himself from Ohno's grip. "It's okay you don't need to apologize for anything. I must have been very weird!" He let out a bitter laugh. "I won't disturb you again, I promise. I will have lunch somewhere else."

"You don't have to!"

"I have to!" The man yelled. "S-Sorry, sorry… I… I have to go!" The stranger turned around to leave, but Ohno caught his arm once again.

"What's your name?"

The man seemed to hesitate for a moment. "Sakurai Sho," he finally said.

"Sakurai-san, do you want to join me for lunch tomorrow?" Ohno offered.

Sho blushed. "What!? No! It's okay, really, you don't—"

"Hmm? I thought you only stared at me because you wanted to talk. Was I wrong?"

Sho's face got even redder, something Ohno found cute although he didn't admit it. "But you think I'm annoying," Sho mumbled. He pouted like a little boy, which just added up to his current level of cuteness. He wasn't as cute as Masaki though.

"Will you accept or not?"

"Okay." Sho nodded. "Then…"

"Tomorrow at my table. My name is Ohno Satoshi, by the way." Ohno grinned and left. He didn't see the blissful smile on Sho's face as he watched him walk away.

 

_"Oh-chan, will you eat that?" Masaki looked at him with puppy eyes._

_"It's not good if you eat too much pudding, Masaki!"_

_"Please!"_

_Ohno chuckled. "Fine… there you go." He handed his pudding to his friend._

_"Thank you!" Masaki beamed._

_Ohno stared at him with adoring eyes. There couldn't possibly be something more beautiful in this world than Masaki._

 

"Ohno-san! I was waiting for you!" Sho greeted him with a nervous smile. He had plump rosy lips, like Masaki's, but a bit smaller.

"Umm…" Ohno just bowed and sat on the chair across Sho.

"I… I already ordered. T-they'll b-b-bring the food in a minute…" Sho said. He was so nervous that he kept tripping over his words.

"Okay," was Ohno's cold response.

Again, there was silence while they ate their food. Sho seemed like he wanted to start a conversation, but as he didn't find the words, he gave up. Ohno was actually enjoying this setting very much. Eating alone wasn't fun, and Sho was cute while he was eating. It was somewhat amusing to see how he could get so excited over a plate of food. When Sho was leaving, he asked Ohno if it was okay for him to join him again at his table the next day. In spite of Ohno's emotionless response, Sho seemed actually happy when he accepted.

"That's good, oniisan!" Jun patted Ohno's back. "You're socializing!"

"I wouldn't call it that way," Ohno said with a blank expression. "We didn't even talk too much, how can you say we're socializing?"

Jun sighed heavily and looked at his wife, who just threw her hands in the air.

 

_It was their fourth year in the university. Ohno finally gathered enough courage to take the first step and confess to Masaki. They were already best friends; Masaki's family had practically accepted him as another member of the family by then, even if they weren't dating. But if Ohno's plan worked, it wouldn't be like that much longer._

_Ohno fidgeted in his seat. "M-Masaki…"_

_"Hmm?" Masaki turned around to see him with his mouth full of ramen. "W-wh…t igh…. Id?"_

_"I don't understand anything!" Ohno smacked Masaki's head playfully. "Swallow first, please!"_

_Aiba giggled with his mouth still full of food. "Sorry," he mumbled._

_"It's okay." Ohno grinned. "Masaki, I was wondering… will you be doing anything during winter break?"_

_"Nope. Why?"_

_"I'll go to a winter resort. I heard it's a nice place to ski. They also have onsens and the landscape is wonderful, so… I was wondering if you…"_

_"Yes! I'll go with you!"_

_Ohno blinked. It was so much like Masaki to reply before he even made the question. It made him smile. "Really?"_

_"Yeah, I'd love that!" Masaki chirped._

_"Perfect!"_

 

Sho had been eating with him during the last few months. Most of the time, the man remained silent, in an effort to not disturb Ohno from his thoughts. In the rare occasions Ohno was in the mood to speak, Sho had told him a bit about his life. He had graduated from Keio and worked for a big company. His position wasn't high yet though since he was still young, but he earned well and worked hard every day. He was single and didn't have any relatives who lived in Japan at the moment; both his parents had passed away and his younger siblings were in America. Sho didn't have many hobbies, except reading from time to time and taking short trips when his work allowed him to. He also had a passion for good food.

Ohno felt comfortable around Sho. The man was kind and respected his privacy. In fact, Sho never asked him anything about his private life. Besides, Ohno admitted, Sho was handsome. Chie often suggested Ohno should ask him out, but Ohno never did it. What for? The only one in his mind was still Masaki.

However, Ohno noticed something lately. Sho seemed quieter and also gloomier. He usually got really excited over the food, took photographs of the dishes he liked and kept praising the cooking. Now, he didn't seem to have much appetite. Ohno figured he might just be tired because of overworking. He didn't give it much thought.

"Well, Ohno-san… Goodbye," Sho said with a smile and left.

Ohno waved and went away.

Behind him, Sho started crying in silence.

 

_"Wow!" Masaki looked at the scenery with his mouth gaping and sparkling eyes. "It's beautiful Oh-chan! Thanks for bringing me with you!"_

_"Want to go skiing?" Ohno suggested._

_"Yeah! Let's climb to the top of the mountain!" Masaki said and started running. Ohno followed him, smiling all the way. Once they got to the top, they took some minutes to admire the view. It was the right moment._

_"M-Masaki…"_

_"Yes, Oh-chan?"_

_"I…"_

_"AVALANCHEEEEEEEEE!" Someone yelled behind them. They saw the mass of snow coming towards them at an incredible speed._

_"Oh-chan, there's a cabin over there! Let's go!" Masaki took his hand and they rushed to the cabin. Fortunately, they didn't die. However, now they were trapped inside the small place, without food, electricity or any way to communicate with the exterior._

 

"He didn't come today either. It's been more than a month already," Jun said with a heavy sigh. Ohno didn't budge, not even when Jun gave him an accusatory glare.

Ohno shrugged. "Maybe he got bored of the food and is having lunch elsewhere."

"You don't get it, do you?" Jun shook his head. "Sakurai-san doesn't come here for the food."

"Then what does he come for?"

"Whatever…" Jun rolled his eyes at him and went back to the counter.

 

_"Damn it!" Ohno kicked the door in frustration. It had been almost forty-eight hours since the avalanche, and they were still trapped in there._

_"Oh-chan, calm down." Masaki grabbed Ohno's shoulders and brought him to a small corner of the room. "Are you hungry?"_

_"No…" Ohno's stomach started growling and he blushed._

_"Here," Masaki handed him a chocolate bar. "It's for you."_

_"And you?" Ohno raised an eyebrow._

_"I'm fine, Oh-chan," Masaki said._

_"Let's share it at least."_

_That night was really cold. Ohno thought he'd die frozen. However, at some point of the night, he felt warmer. It was strange. He fell asleep shortly after. When he woke up, Masaki was lying next to him without any jacket on, cold as the snow covering the mountains._

 

It was October, autumn would come to an end soon and winter would start. Ohno sighed and went to a nearby park to paint for a while. For some reason, he couldn't stop wondering why Sakurai Sho never appeared again. He tried to convince himself it was about the food, but as far as Ohno knew, they hadn't changed the recipe so it wasn't likely. Unable to come up with any justification or concentrate on his painting anymore, he decided to pack up his stuff and leave. He craved some hot chocolate and maybe a piece of cake. He entered his favorite coffee shop and sat on the back.

"Sakurai-san," he muttered to himself when he saw Sakurai Sho in one of the tables nearby. Sakurai looked so gloomy. There was no trace of that smile he had the first time Ohno saw him, the smile that could make his heart skip a beat whenever he saw it. The man was staring at his cup of coffee with sad eyes. For the first time since Masaki passed away, Ohno felt the urge to embrace someone. He jumped from his seat and walked towards Sho. "Sakurai-san!"

The other man got a bit startled and widened his already big eyes when he saw Ohno's face. "O-Ohno-san!?"

"You never came back."

"S-Sorry! I… I've been busy…" Sho looked down.

"You look very thin and pale. Have you been eating well?" Ohno furrowed his eyebrows.

"Maybe I haven't been taking care of myself properly these days." Sho chuckled. "But I'm fine, thanks for asking."

"Are you really fine? You seem sad."

Sho got startled again. "I'm not!" He bit his lower lip, the same gesture he did before when he was trying to hide something.

"Sure?" Sho nodded frantically. For some reason, Ohno couldn't believe him. "I think—"

"I'm fine, Ohno-san. And with all due respect, I'd rather you didn't meddle in my private affairs and minded your own business." Sho stared right into Ohno's eyes. There was pure sadness in them, why did he try to deny it? "I'm taking my leave."

"Don't, please!" Ohno begged. "Stay with me for a while!"

"Ohno-san, don't force yourself. I know you don't enjoy my company. You hardly ever speak to me." Sho said, sounding hurt. "Well, you're not the only one anyway," he added with a bitter laugh.

"I do enjoy your company, Sakurai-san. I've missed you." Ohno felt himself blushing as he spoke. "I feel so comfortable around you. People always complain about my attitude, but you're the only one who doesn't judge me. I'm not very talkative but… if you want, we can talk more from now on."

"Is that what you really want or is it because you pity me for being a stupid lonely man?"

Ohno smiled at him. "I'm a stupid lonely man too, Sakurai-san, in case you haven't noticed."

"That you are indeed!"

Sho laughed. Ohno looked at him in awe. Sho's face lit up a lot when he smiled. It was beautiful, to the point he stopped comparing it to Masaki's face. Yeah, this wasn't Masaki, but maybe Masaki wasn't the only beautiful creature in this world, and he had been too blind to realize it before. Ohno felt he could look at Sho forever. They talked for hours in that coffee shop, until it closed very late at night. They exchanged e-mails and cell phone numbers. Once they were outside, Sho timidly kissed him on the cheek. Ohno froze as he saw the man skipping happily towards the other end of the street.

"Idiot!" Ohno laughed as he watched him disappear into the distance.

 

_"Masaki!" Ohno yelled._

_"Ah… Oh-chan! You're awake!" Masaki smiled weakly. His faint voice was almost a whisper._

_"What did you do? Are you out of your mind!?"_

_"You were trembling so much last night. I didn't want you to freeze."_

_"Idiot!" Ohno took the jacket which was on top of him and wrapped Masaki in it. "Did you know this could kill you!?"_

_"I'm sorry, Oh-chan! I couldn't bear the idea of losing you. I love you so much…" Masaki coughed, some tears rolling down his cheeks. "That's why I had to do it! You have to live, Oh-chan. You have so many things to offer to this world!"_

_"Masaki, don't…"_

_"Oh-chan, please be happy, for the both of us." Masaki smiled one last time. "I love you."_

_"I love you too!" Ohno sobbed. "I will always love you, Masaki!"_

_The rescue team found them a couple of hours later. It was Christmas' Eve, Masaki's birthday._

 

"So, Oh-chan, will you attend this year's Christmas party?" Ninomiya asked him.

"No."

Ninomiya chuckled. "I see. Still being a Grinch?"

"No." Ohno turned around to face Ninomiya with a smile. "I have plans. See you!" he bid his coworker goodbye and exited the gallery.

Christmas was the next day. Ohno visited Masaki's grave, just like he did every year on that date, bringing a big bouquet of red roses with him. He sang happy birthday to Masaki. It had become his tradition for ten years.

"Masaki, I'm sorry. I think I won't be able to come tomorrow," he muttered. "I have a date, you know. He's a great man. He can't cook like you. In fact, he's a disaster in the kitchen!" Ohno laughed. "But… I like him a lot."

The breeze played with his hair, as though it was carrying Masaki's silent approval.

"Goodbye, Masaki. I love you."

Jun and Chie organized a big Christmas party in the restaurant the next day. Most regular customers, as well as friends and family, were invited. Ohno was sitting on a corner. He hated this kind of social events with all his heart, but Sho seemed very excited about it.

"Sorry, I got a bit late Ohno-san!" Sho said as soon as he entered. He was still wearing his suit under a large coat. He had probably rushed from his office straight there.

"I told you, call me Satoshi," Ohno said and pecked Sho's lips. "Okay?"

Sho just nodded and grinned widely. They had been dating for almost a month, but Sho still didn't seem used to the idea of being a couple. Ohno held Sho's hand and took him to a table in the back. Jun looked at them from the other end of the room with a satisfied smile.

"So, what will you have today?" Chie asked Ohno. "Mapo tofu?"

"No," Ohno said. "I think I'm in the mood for some chow fan tonight."

"Okay!" Chie grinned and went to the kitchen.

"I thought you always ate mapo tofu," Sho said.

"Well, it's time for me to try something different, don't you think?" Ohno replied.

They had a great time in the Christmas party. After that, Sho drove Ohno home, like he usually did whenever they went out together at night.

"Well, see you then." Sho smiled at Ohno and hesitantly kissed him. He separated from Ohno soon, but Ohno pulled him for a kiss again, wrapping his hands around Sho's neck.

"Won't you stay tonight?" Ohno asked, blushing. It was the first time he asked a man to spend the night with him. He took Sho's hand and guided him into his small apartment after getting a flustered, affirmative reply from Sho.

Finally, in Ohno's eternal winter it was Christmas time again.

**Author's Note:**

> Click [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14915573) for Sho's side of the story.


End file.
